​Sea green hair and pink fingernails
Vyolet Ashley
 
 
       I only see you when I’m dreaming.
You are a mess of sea green hair and pink fingernails
that brush against my consciousness only when I’m not in it.
I know right away that I want long bike rides
and Victorian houses with you and only you.
I want us to have that rainy day reality;
With the ghosts and the mud and the rainboots.
       Sometimes I will be lying beside you;
sunset hitting against my window, and I’ll blink.
Blinking you away and blinking back
Into the reality that I fell asleep on my couch.
The reality that I still have school and the future and real things to worry about.
I hold back tears
And I close my eyes.
       I cannot escape to the snow with you.
       I cannot go to LA with you.
       I cannot pick out a ring for you and take you to Venice Beach to propose
even though I know you love it there.
I cannot hold your hand or text you goodnight because you don’t exist
and I know that.
       I know that.
       I know that.
 
 
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