Athazagoraphobia
Lali Wilde


I’ll leave stains on my bedsheets like you left blood on my tongue
tasting the drips like a juicy j kiss / just lick
   / the air is thick /
as we read children’s lit and the voices / breathe
in soft sweaty scent as I’m
bent on a blue bar
you instead / write
                    not-quite
poetry trickling from famous gap teeth
           (as if your ass could really handle the heat)
but now we’re in deep so we take leaps
in the air without destination to land
and each song I hear is guided by your hand / make me understand that I want to love you
so I’ll break
               every
                    finger
                         just to get your attention
these wings open to
                                / echo /
                                               at the sound of your mention
                                    but I seem to be
                                clinging
                         to your
                    touch
               I’m flicking at your eyelids but
you’re tying grape colored knots in your brain to drown out desperation
with this / foul liquid poison
yet you’re not sleeping when you dream
still can’t sleep
can’t sleep
it seems
so we leave stains on our bedsheets and I taste blood on my tongue
how I wish that you’d never been given that gun


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